Into the Unknown
Libra 1 // letting fresh air give me fresh perspective.
The dark half of the year begins with the start of Libra season. How’s everyone doing out there? Anyone else feeling foggy? Like there’s a lot of brain static? I’ve been having a really hard time making decisions, sorting through the noise in my head, and just generally feeling good about life right now. I’ve been trying to take my own blessing to heart; trying to remember that the “winds of change” are blowing and I can hold whatever comes…
But also thresholds are hard.
This week’s card is the 2 of swords. A figure, blindfolded, sits in front of a body of water holding two swords crossing over their chest. This card doesn’t feel quite as stuck as the 8 of swords, but the figure does seem confused, stagnant, unsure. But… it’s also possible that I’m projecting.
This angsty feeling I have is probably at least somewhat connected to having just come off a 10-day streak of my partner traveling for work. When I single-parent for an extended amount of time I sometimes go into task mode and don’t really acknowledge (because I truly can’t) how much it takes out of me. Then on the other side I am a bit emotionally hungover and all the feelings come rushing back in. My tired brain can’t sort through it all, and I’m just left feeling...too much.
I think
wrote once about having hooks in her mind where she hangs thoughts, but when she can’t close the loop(s) it really activates her nervous system. Thresholds are inherently open loops - we aren’t where we were, but we also haven’t arrived yet.The tension of in-between really sets my teeth on edge. Is it this, or is it that? Let’s just get this settled.The 2 of swords tells us things are not settled, or a decision needs to be made to regain balance and peace. And the moon reminds us that we may need to slow down enough to go within and find the answer reflected in our inner, still pool. But I have a to-do list a mile long! And dinner to make! And that article about our corrupt political system to read! And how are we spending time and money on spaceships and AI when families in our country can’t buy groceries?
I’m also experiencing an acute sense of compromise. Like
mentioned a few weeks ago, we have to compromise “the world we want to be” with “the world that is.” It’s a compromise to drive my car, to fill landfills with my excessive waste, to use smartphones, to shop online, to eat food shipped from miles away. I’m holding the tension of a world that does not meet my standards, that disappoints me at every turn, but that I have to live in anyway.I also find it interesting that the figure is blindfolded. Maybe she doesn’t want to face the reality of her situation? Or maybe she can’t bear to look? Or the blindfold symbolizes her limits, she can’t gather all the information right now and she’ll have to move forward without the “perfect” plan. My heart begins to race at the thought.
When I sit quietly with this truth - that it scares the hell out of me to walk through the doorway of change, to sit in the tension of what is - my heart begins to warm with compassion. I want to put my arm around myself and say This really does feel like a lot, but I’m here. I might also say,
Let’s not pick up any more swords for the moment. Maybe quiet the media input. You’ve got enough information for now. Let’s cut out caffeine for a bit, shall we? Your brain is spinning fast enough. And how about taking a walk out in the fresh air - get your feet in the grass. Let the wind blow and your heart slow. Hmm? That feels better, doesn’t it? This world is messy, but it’s yours. And maybe slip off that blindfold for a beat and look around at the people who love you - they’re here too. You’re all in this together.
If you’d like to read another post about swords…
Kairos Time
This will be a short reflection today as I prepare to leave for Florida tomorrow! I have not been away from my kids for this long in over 7 years! Wild. This week walks us into Gemini season and the element of air. I love that I’ll be literally flying through the air this time tomorrow.
Or another post about 2s in the tarot…
Spring's Conjuring
It’s finally spring! The vernal equinox has brought longer days here in the northern hemisphere, and even though the temperatures are still low (we even had some snow flurries yesterday) the longer days and morning bird song are filling me with hope. We’ve welcomed starling and red-winged blackbirds to our feeders this week, and I’ve been watching the s…
I am reminded of Ghost of a Podcast, in which so many weeks seem to be "... this is going to trigger issues of identity and/or core wounding ..." and how so often we just need to take time to breathe into both existence and our values. And then do the next right thing, the smallest step, whatever it is. 💖
Loved the writing and your colorful photos, Lindsey. Two of swords seems so fitting for your angsty time. It's unnerving to think of making a binary decision, one way or the other, no going back--blindfolded! Hope you find some safe and comfortable space and feel more grounded and at ease soon.