This piece really resonates with a path I’m on with my daughter. We had a doctor’s appointment 9 days ago that has given me momentary reprieve. It clarified the immediate path, which has given me room to rest and gather myself. But we haven’t reached the end of the journey, and I’m looking back warily over the past month, at how anxiety fully swept me off my feet and I was attempting to mother from the swirl of dread. Now I’m gathering inner resources for the road ahead, so I can keep my feet on the ground, even when the path feels less certain.
“Mothering from the swirl of dread” I HAVE BEEN THERE 🩷🩷 sending you lots of love & care and I’m glad that you had a good appointment recently. Hoping you continue to find footing. 🙏🏽 I know I’m living in hyper-vigilance when I’m waiting for the next horrible thing, instead of concentrating on just doing the next right thing. Did you find DLs list to be helpful with those inner resources?
I forgot that was in frozen!! 🤣 another good one is Glennon Doyle’s “we can do hard things” and Susan Chang (who I quote here often for her work with the tarot/decans) has the mantra “one brave thing” for this card. 💪🏽
This was so moving. Doing the next right thing is such a powerful response to the call of hypervigilance. Cheers to healing and care! Also, it was so lovely to have you on All The Threads---thanks for the shoutout. And congratulations on that subscriber milestone---yay!
You're doing something right.....THE MUPPETS CHRISTMAS CAROL IS SUPREME. But on a real note, this reflection is absolutely gorgeous and I cheered for the FULL TOOLBOX line. Second by second. Day by day. Wishing for the peace right alongside you this week.
If you like musicals, I’d also commend will ferells “spirited” to you for a ridiculous and funny take on the Christmas Carol - not as perfect as muppets obviously, but still good 😂
How do you always write what I need to read? How do you do it?! 💙 Hyper-vigilance v keeping vigil. Yes yes yes. I needed to hear that. I’m so glad you and your daughter made it through the appointment without tears, and congratulations on hitting that milestone. You craft beauty.
Oh! I do have a question. I find myself wanting to understand astrological matters more. But I don’t know where to begin and am pretty intimated by it all. I wondered if you might have a recommend resource?
Susan Chang (who I quote a lot here) has a podcast fortunes wheelhouse where she goes DEEP into different cards & also zodiac signs. However, it can be dense. I also love ghost of a podcast for a more accessible listen but she often focuses on listener questions so it’s not a very systematic approach. If you like glennon Doyle’s podcast, she has an episode (or 2?) with Heidi rose Robbins that was very helpful and sort of an overview of the basics. I am very much a novice and am slowly learning each sign as I travel thru the wheel of the year, but Astro charts are still pretty mind boggling to me!
Thank you! I need some new listening so these will be great. I recently, finally, learned my birth time so now my charts are accurate and it is spooky yet comforting. I need to know more! :D
I’ve only ever had one chart reading, but it was very interesting - it was with Lindsey Turner (her social handle is BadPastor lol) and she’s actually the inspiration for the keeping vigil vs hypervigilance idea! I’m receiving daily advent readings from her this year and that was one of the themes!
“In this card we see a person who is battle-worn. They are bandaged and leaning on one wand for support, but they are also attentive. The battle isn’t over.“ Raising hand! I keep thinking about the line that you don’t write about your daughter as much because you’ve done some work. This is an interesting place for me, because I also writes to process difficult places I’ve been and difficult places I find myself (I’m sure this is true for all writers). Sometimes writing alerts me to what has yet to be processed, like a lobster cage pulling up a dead body (is this how lobsters are caught? sloppy metaphor sorry). Sometimes writing is telling what has happened after it’s already over. It’s a long arc for me, one I’m thinking about a lot lately. Anyway, one of my kids has a chronic condition that haunts my heart, too. The swirl of panic and recycled pain is real. Thank you for sharing this tender part of your experience. And the ways you are healing. It’s helpful.👼🏼💆🏼♀️🕊️
Not sure about lobster lol, but I get exactly what you’re saying! Yes, after the appointment and feeling pleasantly surprised at how well it went, I pulled this card and immediately thought - it’s me!!
I’m sorry you understand, and also “recycled pain” is a perfect description. Thanks for reading and it makes my heart happy to know it resonated.
Thank you, Erin ❤️❤️❤️ I am finally well enough (after WEEKS of coughing!) to catch up on my feldy classes. I’ve listened to befriending yourself multiple times.
“But the toll of constantly being alert to danger is great too. It makes me feel powerless, it’s exhausting, it steals my joy, and it keeps me from being the peaceful presence that I want to be.”
I know this feeling all to well. I told my therapist today, “I’m tired of being scared all the time.”
But “do the next right thing” is a beautiful way to move forward. Thank you for that little nugget. 💜
You’re welcome. And I so relate! Finding little moments in my day to breathe or do tapping or walk to help my body tune in to safety have been crucial. When I drop these habits the hyper-vigilance comes swooping back in.
This piece really resonates with a path I’m on with my daughter. We had a doctor’s appointment 9 days ago that has given me momentary reprieve. It clarified the immediate path, which has given me room to rest and gather myself. But we haven’t reached the end of the journey, and I’m looking back warily over the past month, at how anxiety fully swept me off my feet and I was attempting to mother from the swirl of dread. Now I’m gathering inner resources for the road ahead, so I can keep my feet on the ground, even when the path feels less certain.
“Mothering from the swirl of dread” I HAVE BEEN THERE 🩷🩷 sending you lots of love & care and I’m glad that you had a good appointment recently. Hoping you continue to find footing. 🙏🏽 I know I’m living in hyper-vigilance when I’m waiting for the next horrible thing, instead of concentrating on just doing the next right thing. Did you find DLs list to be helpful with those inner resources?
Sending you so much care from here, Shaina.
Oh thank you so much ❤️ I’m so glad I’ve found such a lovely, nourishing corner of substack
Same 💖💖💖
"There is a difference between hyper-vigilance and keeping vigil." Well said. 💖💖💖
I was just coming over here to say the same! I might need to pin that quote somewhere where I can return to it daily
Seriously.
Also, "Do the next right thing" has been my sister's lifeline ever since Frozen 2 came out. We take what we can get!
I forgot that was in frozen!! 🤣 another good one is Glennon Doyle’s “we can do hard things” and Susan Chang (who I quote here often for her work with the tarot/decans) has the mantra “one brave thing” for this card. 💪🏽
I get my inspiration from very non-higbrow places!
Those are the best places sometimes 🫶🏽
💯😀
Came here today the same 🙌🏽
This was so moving. Doing the next right thing is such a powerful response to the call of hypervigilance. Cheers to healing and care! Also, it was so lovely to have you on All The Threads---thanks for the shoutout. And congratulations on that subscriber milestone---yay!
Thanks Kandi, so glad we’ve connected here and thank you for your kinds words. Cheers!!
You're doing something right.....THE MUPPETS CHRISTMAS CAROL IS SUPREME. But on a real note, this reflection is absolutely gorgeous and I cheered for the FULL TOOLBOX line. Second by second. Day by day. Wishing for the peace right alongside you this week.
If you like musicals, I’d also commend will ferells “spirited” to you for a ridiculous and funny take on the Christmas Carol - not as perfect as muppets obviously, but still good 😂
SUPREME! It’s just about perfect in every way. And thanks for your kind words, Maggie 🩷✨
How do you always write what I need to read? How do you do it?! 💙 Hyper-vigilance v keeping vigil. Yes yes yes. I needed to hear that. I’m so glad you and your daughter made it through the appointment without tears, and congratulations on hitting that milestone. You craft beauty.
🤍🤍 I’m so happy it resonated - we must just be on a similar wavelength ✨ thank you thank you!
Oh! I do have a question. I find myself wanting to understand astrological matters more. But I don’t know where to begin and am pretty intimated by it all. I wondered if you might have a recommend resource?
Susan Chang (who I quote a lot here) has a podcast fortunes wheelhouse where she goes DEEP into different cards & also zodiac signs. However, it can be dense. I also love ghost of a podcast for a more accessible listen but she often focuses on listener questions so it’s not a very systematic approach. If you like glennon Doyle’s podcast, she has an episode (or 2?) with Heidi rose Robbins that was very helpful and sort of an overview of the basics. I am very much a novice and am slowly learning each sign as I travel thru the wheel of the year, but Astro charts are still pretty mind boggling to me!
Thank you! I need some new listening so these will be great. I recently, finally, learned my birth time so now my charts are accurate and it is spooky yet comforting. I need to know more! :D
I’ve only ever had one chart reading, but it was very interesting - it was with Lindsey Turner (her social handle is BadPastor lol) and she’s actually the inspiration for the keeping vigil vs hypervigilance idea! I’m receiving daily advent readings from her this year and that was one of the themes!
“In this card we see a person who is battle-worn. They are bandaged and leaning on one wand for support, but they are also attentive. The battle isn’t over.“ Raising hand! I keep thinking about the line that you don’t write about your daughter as much because you’ve done some work. This is an interesting place for me, because I also writes to process difficult places I’ve been and difficult places I find myself (I’m sure this is true for all writers). Sometimes writing alerts me to what has yet to be processed, like a lobster cage pulling up a dead body (is this how lobsters are caught? sloppy metaphor sorry). Sometimes writing is telling what has happened after it’s already over. It’s a long arc for me, one I’m thinking about a lot lately. Anyway, one of my kids has a chronic condition that haunts my heart, too. The swirl of panic and recycled pain is real. Thank you for sharing this tender part of your experience. And the ways you are healing. It’s helpful.👼🏼💆🏼♀️🕊️
Not sure about lobster lol, but I get exactly what you’re saying! Yes, after the appointment and feeling pleasantly surprised at how well it went, I pulled this card and immediately thought - it’s me!!
I’m sorry you understand, and also “recycled pain” is a perfect description. Thanks for reading and it makes my heart happy to know it resonated.
Lovely, Lindsey. I love reading your beautiful reflections. I especially loved keeping vigil vs vigilance. ❤️ sending love to you and your fam. xoxo
Thank you, Erin ❤️❤️❤️ I am finally well enough (after WEEKS of coughing!) to catch up on my feldy classes. I’ve listened to befriending yourself multiple times.
“But the toll of constantly being alert to danger is great too. It makes me feel powerless, it’s exhausting, it steals my joy, and it keeps me from being the peaceful presence that I want to be.”
I know this feeling all to well. I told my therapist today, “I’m tired of being scared all the time.”
But “do the next right thing” is a beautiful way to move forward. Thank you for that little nugget. 💜
You’re welcome. And I so relate! Finding little moments in my day to breathe or do tapping or walk to help my body tune in to safety have been crucial. When I drop these habits the hyper-vigilance comes swooping back in.