LINDSEY!! it’s like you’ve been living in my mind, the first part of this essay. (We are apparently on the same wavelength this week! 😅) Beautiful writing. Will be thinking about tending to my own heavy heart that pleads for tending, and holding rage and love. Thank you for writing ❤️
This is so beautiful, Lindsey. I have discovered in the past year that rage will consume me if I don’t let it actively work to remake the world. It’s the sharp edge of my creative impulse, and when I let myself feel it, let it move my whole self (including my wise compassionate self, not just my inner 3-year-old), it fills me with courage I could not imagine for myself. When I discovered this, stopped trying to temper it by numbing out, I was like, “no wonder women aren’t allowed to feel angry. If we did, we would remake the world.”
Thank you for offering these beautiful reflections
I’ve read this twice now and will likely share it in my next letter. There are so many essays coming out from wonderful writers lately that leave me with out many words aside from: “I want to make you a huge pot of soup and some biscuits!” This is another one of those. I wish I could bring you a big pot of soup, Lindsey, and maybe rage together a little. I know much of what you’ve said here is that your cup is drained, but you give me hope. ❤️
That sounds amazing, Ema! Soup with you would absolutely fill my cup. So glad this resonated with you and I agree, there are quite a few women this week who pushed the needle for me and make me feel more hopeful - even with the daily onslaught of Terrible News. Grateful you’re here.
Hmm...well the knight of cups wears their heart on their sleeve and would definitely feel grief in a big way. This card would probably offer a warning about not making rash decisions or quick fixes for grief. And the page of cups for aliveness is so sweet! To me she is the page of play and connection and falling in love with the world. ✨
How interesting! The knight of cups is a card I strongly relate to personally. And not making quick fixes for grief–damn, can't I have just one? Kidding/not kidding. Thanks for talking about these cards. I could see some elements of what you suggested but didn't have as deep an understanding.
I sat down, excited to read your post, and it feels like just what I needed. Your first part is so relatable–the parenting, the rage, grief, disassociation, the need to take care of ourselves. Just. Gah. Thank you.
In my annual tarot spread, my October card was 5 of Cups. It became very clear very quickly why. I spent a long time thinking about those 2 upright cups and began to think of the 2 of Cups card as what they represent: love, partnership, community, reciprocity as antidotes to the grief. Beautiful reflections here, I appreciate the rage & love interpretation as well.
LINDSEY!! it’s like you’ve been living in my mind, the first part of this essay. (We are apparently on the same wavelength this week! 😅) Beautiful writing. Will be thinking about tending to my own heavy heart that pleads for tending, and holding rage and love. Thank you for writing ❤️
Your two pieces were lovely to read back to back this morning.
Agreed!
Thank you, Christine 🩷🩷🩷
This is so beautiful, Lindsey. I have discovered in the past year that rage will consume me if I don’t let it actively work to remake the world. It’s the sharp edge of my creative impulse, and when I let myself feel it, let it move my whole self (including my wise compassionate self, not just my inner 3-year-old), it fills me with courage I could not imagine for myself. When I discovered this, stopped trying to temper it by numbing out, I was like, “no wonder women aren’t allowed to feel angry. If we did, we would remake the world.”
Thank you for offering these beautiful reflections
“The sharp edge of my creative impulse” BEAUTIFUL. And yes - let’s remake the world!!
I’ve read this twice now and will likely share it in my next letter. There are so many essays coming out from wonderful writers lately that leave me with out many words aside from: “I want to make you a huge pot of soup and some biscuits!” This is another one of those. I wish I could bring you a big pot of soup, Lindsey, and maybe rage together a little. I know much of what you’ve said here is that your cup is drained, but you give me hope. ❤️
That sounds amazing, Ema! Soup with you would absolutely fill my cup. So glad this resonated with you and I agree, there are quite a few women this week who pushed the needle for me and make me feel more hopeful - even with the daily onslaught of Terrible News. Grateful you’re here.
“my kid’s empathy knows no bounds” they are little healers, yes? 🐿️✨🍒 I’ve been thinking of Mr. Rogers too! Such a wise, tender, clear-seeing soul 🫶🏽
P.S. gonna go pull that tarot spread now. Thanks for sharing it!
I hope you love it and I’d love to hear what you pulled 💜
Knight of cups and page of cups. Huh.
Hmm...well the knight of cups wears their heart on their sleeve and would definitely feel grief in a big way. This card would probably offer a warning about not making rash decisions or quick fixes for grief. And the page of cups for aliveness is so sweet! To me she is the page of play and connection and falling in love with the world. ✨
How interesting! The knight of cups is a card I strongly relate to personally. And not making quick fixes for grief–damn, can't I have just one? Kidding/not kidding. Thanks for talking about these cards. I could see some elements of what you suggested but didn't have as deep an understanding.
I sat down, excited to read your post, and it feels like just what I needed. Your first part is so relatable–the parenting, the rage, grief, disassociation, the need to take care of ourselves. Just. Gah. Thank you.
Oh my gosh, thanks for reading and I’m so glad it resonated.
In my annual tarot spread, my October card was 5 of Cups. It became very clear very quickly why. I spent a long time thinking about those 2 upright cups and began to think of the 2 of Cups card as what they represent: love, partnership, community, reciprocity as antidotes to the grief. Beautiful reflections here, I appreciate the rage & love interpretation as well.
Omg I love that it’s the literal 2 of cups! 🤯
it was a big aha moment for me too 💡
Holding rage and live, even as I succumb to exhaustion.
Same 💔