Permission to Tarot

on Covid hobbies and a list of happy things!

This week marks three years since we first quarantined ourselves from the now ubiquitous (but then unknown!) coronavirus. I remember going out for coffee with friends on a Wednesday night and by the time I came home there was a buzz that the virus was here. That maybe we should be cautious? I attended a brief meeting the next morning, but kept my kids home from school. By Friday all the schools were closing and within a week there were plans for permanent closure and distance learning. I feel an almost out-of-body sensation when I remember that time. I spent so much time in my head those days, anxious spinning and horrified disbelief, it’s a wonder I was present in my body at all.

Last-week-of-winter-walk. The fluffy snow was irresistible this week.

During lockdown we all had our hobbies and home-bound activities that helped us to cope. I have a friend who made elaborate DND landscapes out of foam and cardboard and painted them by hand. Other friends took up baking and of course - sourdough. And while I did bake more, I also began learning about tarot. I’m sure you can imagine there was some trepidation (evangelicals generally frown on divination) but after a conversation with a friend¹ I gave myself permission to explore. I was first drawn to the art² and I especially loved the creative exercise of weaving a story from the different pictures on the cards. In the early months of lockdown when anxiety was especially high I took to listening to a tarot podcast (that I still love), because the content was befuddling and her voice was soothing it was the perfect thing to help me fall asleep at night. Gradually over time it became less confusing and I started to appreciate the patterns of meaning and the philosophy behind the cards³.

So far with this Substack I’ve used tarot as a creative tool - I randomly pull a card for the book I’m currently reading and use that as my writing prompt for the week. There’s a thrill to drawing a card at random and seeing how it might connect to the story or amplify the text. For the next little while I’m going to be doing a decan walk and intentionally learning about the cards through the astrological year, but I will continue to weave them with the books and poems I’m reading. I’d love to hear in the comments if you have any experience with tarot, or if you have any questions!

After last weeks heavy post, I’ll wrap up today with a brief list of things that are making me happy. Maybe they’ll make you smile too.

1. After my post last week on patriarchy, I thought you might enjoy Nadia Bolz Weber’s recent post on the female voice in the church.

2. A few weeks ago I wrote about how I love ghost stories and this week’s episode of This American Life is all about them too & its so good!

3. After writing about walking as therapy, I stumbled upon an article in the Guardian and realized I missed my calling. When I grow up I want to be a shepherd.

4. I finished Inciting Joy this week and even though Ross Gay’s writing style takes a little getting used to, his chapter on Grief was worth the cost of admission. That was definitely not me blubbering into my tea in the corner of the coffee shop yesterday.

5. The image that has been getting me through the week is the photo of Harrison Ford hugging Ke Huy Quan after his Oscar win on Sunday. I tear up just thinking about it. Everything Everywhere All At Once swept the Oscars this weekend, securing the first Asian American winners of the award! Quan’s performance in EEAAO was fantastic and his story is just wonderful.

1. Anyone else do phone/walk dates with friends? It’s one of the vestiges of that time that I still hold on to. I’m much more likely to go for a walk with a friend these days than to meet for drinks or coffee.

2. There are about one million gorgeous decks out there and here are some of my favorites: Gentle Tarot, Illuminated Tarot, and Tarot of the Holy Spectrum, & Slow Holler

3. I will write more about this later I’m sure. Feel free to comment if there is something you’d like me to write more about or if you have any tarot related questions! I love to hear from you.