Oh you’ve just given me the next piece of my nightly candle ritual, and another access point to prayer.
When I left Christianity (sort of? Mostly?) it felt as though the social fabric of the church had been torn open to reveal the flapping noise of demon-wings. And it’s a feeling that returns, that I associate with the unrepaired harms of the world. It’s such a visceral experience, I’ve come to fully associate the demonic with unrepaired, unmentionable harms—whose very visibility violates our sacred narratives. (This also frees me up to explore things like tarot, even though on bad mental health days I can *still* wonder if I’ve caught demons from the novel I’m reading or whatever. The world is indeed full of demons, and Christians are looking for them in all the wrong places). A meditation I sometimes practice, borne out of a journaling exercise, is to wrap myself in a woven blanket with a mug of tea. I imagine myself in a dessert, under a dead but still beautiful tree. And the night sky is so expansive, there is room for all my demons. They soar upward, and the universe is expansive enough to receive them all. While I sip tea under the warmth of a blanket. Anyway, the bundle of sticks, the weird weight of fascism, the Lord of Oppression, made me think of this.
Also, I think you’ve inspired me to clean out the fireplace this winter and give it a go. We’ve avoided it for the same reasons you mention, but we’ve been talking about it and now feels like the right time.
Candle magic/prayer just gets better and better ✨🤍
That paragraph about church is just beautiful, Shaina. I’ve read it multiple times. (Also, I haven’t stopped thinking about your idea of *secular* Christian! I also like Humanist Christian?) your use of demonic is so good and expansive. Yes, the unrepaired harms of the world. And I completely understand the old stories coming up around novels or tarot or movies (thanks frank peretti 👎🏽😣). Reading that passage made me think this present darkness is the overculture, the greed, the kyriarchy - that has been there all along and is resurfacing again in our unique time. This seems to help a little bit with my catastrophizing mind which says we are “special” and like DL said this week just traumatized people wiping each other out until there is no one left to oppress. 😝
The blanket meditation is stunning. Imagining the expansive desert night sky absorbing all that negativity is just beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
Secular Christianity is happening on my substack! Okay, not yet. It will likely be at least a month before I publish my next piece. But I’ve been reading Bonhoeffer on religionless Christianity (ideas he developed in nazi prison months before his execution), and Willie Jennings on working in fragments. And I’m sooo inspired. The I have 3 full posts rolling around in my brain, plus beginnings of many more. I’ve been taking this time of dormancy to really dig in and get a clearer vision of what exactly I’m trying to do, and something coalesced in our conversation. Secular Christianity is the space I want to co-imagine, as sort of a playground--a place to play with our Christian histories without having to define ourselves within or against a stark Christian/nonchristian boundary.
As a silly little preview, I woke up this morning with a limerick? It’s silly but expresses, to myself at least, the project perfectly.
Just lurking here soaking in your guys' comments. The meditation image you shared is so powerful and I could transport myself there immediately! Can't wait to see where you go with your Substack and the secular Christian / playground we're invited to idea!!
“did you know the word fascism comes from the word fascio (Italian, I think) for bundle of sticks?“ that’s a wild pairing with this post! Brava. So many good ones in here. Trolling. Ma Ingalls without the racism. That embroidered heart! My daughter wants to make a craft for Xmas, I’m stealing that ❤️ 💚 I also highly approve of all the pro-pyro elements in this post. Our last house had a fireplace we never used. Not once! I’m not regretful but is *is* sad. Fireplaces should be used for haphazard family traditions. Happy you are embracing this. Thank you for these joys! ❤️🔥
I don’t really use Pinterest but I have one board right now called “felt ornaments” 😍😍😍 everything is just so dang cute in felt! We didn’t use ours for a while because I was nervous about house fires but we finally got the chimney cleaned and now it’s my favorite part of winter. 🤍
There are so many adult things like this - “hard” tasks that make life so much better - that I avoided in our old house 🤷🏻♀️ Happy you empowered yourselves and gave yourself fire! 🔥 Felt is our middle name ‘round here. Thank you for your contribution 💞
It's been super overcast where I live (which is normal for winter), but I drove to a different part of the state for some research a couple nights ago, and there was Moon hanging so glorious and brilliant. I couldn't get enough of Her. Like walking into the most beautiful waterfall.
Yes! You can do it with just one hand 😂 and it’s the combo of pressure points & deep breathing that just really helps me to move through stuck feelings
Sorry I’m commenting so late, but I love the balance of this post, Lindsey. You do an amazing job of holding both grief and joy. Love your practical comforts and projects at the end too. I hope it was a lovely Christmas and a happy new year at your house.
Beautiful reflections as always, and so many delicious (literally and figuratively!) tidbits sprinkled throughout while holding space for all the grief. Fascism! Sticks! What a connection!!
I have been so excited to tell you that I bought a book on Tarot this past weekend and now I want to get a deck of cards but have no idea where to start -- just whatever looks pretty??? Oh and also got The Shortest Day and am excited to read it with my kids on Thursday and hopefully lots of others times too. And I fully intend to go to this thing that someone else linked to on my post: https://www.mosaicvoices.org/shop/#!/In-This-Darkness-Singing/p/610258550
Yay!!! And yes, whatever feels beautiful or calls to you. If you want some suggestions I’m happy to oblige or most book shops have a few decks on hand if you don’t want to go full esoteric shop. The shortest day!!! I love it so much , I hope your family does too 🖤🖤🖤
The two I’ve been using most often recently are the illuminated tarot and tarot for all ages - I just really like the art in both. Biddy tarot is also a nice first deck because it has a lot of the traditional imagery.
Ahhh how have I not seen that Pentatonix performance?! I may or may not have worn out my VHS tape watching Lauryn Hill performing in the final scene of Sister Act 2 ;) And thank you for the kid-friendly swaps for the Swedish Glogg—alcohol gives me a headache but I miss having a cozy holiday beverage to sip on.
Oh you’ve just given me the next piece of my nightly candle ritual, and another access point to prayer.
When I left Christianity (sort of? Mostly?) it felt as though the social fabric of the church had been torn open to reveal the flapping noise of demon-wings. And it’s a feeling that returns, that I associate with the unrepaired harms of the world. It’s such a visceral experience, I’ve come to fully associate the demonic with unrepaired, unmentionable harms—whose very visibility violates our sacred narratives. (This also frees me up to explore things like tarot, even though on bad mental health days I can *still* wonder if I’ve caught demons from the novel I’m reading or whatever. The world is indeed full of demons, and Christians are looking for them in all the wrong places). A meditation I sometimes practice, borne out of a journaling exercise, is to wrap myself in a woven blanket with a mug of tea. I imagine myself in a dessert, under a dead but still beautiful tree. And the night sky is so expansive, there is room for all my demons. They soar upward, and the universe is expansive enough to receive them all. While I sip tea under the warmth of a blanket. Anyway, the bundle of sticks, the weird weight of fascism, the Lord of Oppression, made me think of this.
Also, I think you’ve inspired me to clean out the fireplace this winter and give it a go. We’ve avoided it for the same reasons you mention, but we’ve been talking about it and now feels like the right time.
Candle magic/prayer just gets better and better ✨🤍
That paragraph about church is just beautiful, Shaina. I’ve read it multiple times. (Also, I haven’t stopped thinking about your idea of *secular* Christian! I also like Humanist Christian?) your use of demonic is so good and expansive. Yes, the unrepaired harms of the world. And I completely understand the old stories coming up around novels or tarot or movies (thanks frank peretti 👎🏽😣). Reading that passage made me think this present darkness is the overculture, the greed, the kyriarchy - that has been there all along and is resurfacing again in our unique time. This seems to help a little bit with my catastrophizing mind which says we are “special” and like DL said this week just traumatized people wiping each other out until there is no one left to oppress. 😝
The blanket meditation is stunning. Imagining the expansive desert night sky absorbing all that negativity is just beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
Secular Christianity is happening on my substack! Okay, not yet. It will likely be at least a month before I publish my next piece. But I’ve been reading Bonhoeffer on religionless Christianity (ideas he developed in nazi prison months before his execution), and Willie Jennings on working in fragments. And I’m sooo inspired. The I have 3 full posts rolling around in my brain, plus beginnings of many more. I’ve been taking this time of dormancy to really dig in and get a clearer vision of what exactly I’m trying to do, and something coalesced in our conversation. Secular Christianity is the space I want to co-imagine, as sort of a playground--a place to play with our Christian histories without having to define ourselves within or against a stark Christian/nonchristian boundary.
As a silly little preview, I woke up this morning with a limerick? It’s silly but expresses, to myself at least, the project perfectly.
I want to build a playground,
and invite you to come play,
But only if it feels good;
You never have to stay.
👏🏽 👏🏽👏🏽 Cheers to all of this!! And love the limerick - I felt something unlock in my chest at “you never have to stay”
Really looking forward to what you create!
Just lurking here soaking in your guys' comments. The meditation image you shared is so powerful and I could transport myself there immediately! Can't wait to see where you go with your Substack and the secular Christian / playground we're invited to idea!!
I love that we’re carrying out this conversation over multiple substacks 😂 there’s some great synergy here.
See you at mine, next month! (Although probably at both of yours sooner)
I wanted to link here because we were chatting about “secular xianity” and I just listened to this episode with Bradley Onishi - it is fantastic and right up this creek. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conspirituality/id1515827446?i=1000640083336
Ooh, thanks! I look forward to checking this out!
“did you know the word fascism comes from the word fascio (Italian, I think) for bundle of sticks?“ that’s a wild pairing with this post! Brava. So many good ones in here. Trolling. Ma Ingalls without the racism. That embroidered heart! My daughter wants to make a craft for Xmas, I’m stealing that ❤️ 💚 I also highly approve of all the pro-pyro elements in this post. Our last house had a fireplace we never used. Not once! I’m not regretful but is *is* sad. Fireplaces should be used for haphazard family traditions. Happy you are embracing this. Thank you for these joys! ❤️🔥
I don’t really use Pinterest but I have one board right now called “felt ornaments” 😍😍😍 everything is just so dang cute in felt! We didn’t use ours for a while because I was nervous about house fires but we finally got the chimney cleaned and now it’s my favorite part of winter. 🤍
There are so many adult things like this - “hard” tasks that make life so much better - that I avoided in our old house 🤷🏻♀️ Happy you empowered yourselves and gave yourself fire! 🔥 Felt is our middle name ‘round here. Thank you for your contribution 💞
It's been super overcast where I live (which is normal for winter), but I drove to a different part of the state for some research a couple nights ago, and there was Moon hanging so glorious and brilliant. I couldn't get enough of Her. Like walking into the most beautiful waterfall.
A moon waterfall!!! 😍😍
Moonfall!
Also--thank you for the tapping videos! Finally, something I can do when I'm driving.
Yes! You can do it with just one hand 😂 and it’s the combo of pressure points & deep breathing that just really helps me to move through stuck feelings
Sorry I’m commenting so late, but I love the balance of this post, Lindsey. You do an amazing job of holding both grief and joy. Love your practical comforts and projects at the end too. I hope it was a lovely Christmas and a happy new year at your house.
Timing is fluid during this holiday in-between time ☺️ happy new year!
This list brings me joy. 🩷
Beautiful reflections as always, and so many delicious (literally and figuratively!) tidbits sprinkled throughout while holding space for all the grief. Fascism! Sticks! What a connection!!
I have been so excited to tell you that I bought a book on Tarot this past weekend and now I want to get a deck of cards but have no idea where to start -- just whatever looks pretty??? Oh and also got The Shortest Day and am excited to read it with my kids on Thursday and hopefully lots of others times too. And I fully intend to go to this thing that someone else linked to on my post: https://www.mosaicvoices.org/shop/#!/In-This-Darkness-Singing/p/610258550
Yay!!! And yes, whatever feels beautiful or calls to you. If you want some suggestions I’m happy to oblige or most book shops have a few decks on hand if you don’t want to go full esoteric shop. The shortest day!!! I love it so much , I hope your family does too 🖤🖤🖤
My kiddo wanted to read it twice each on solstice night and the next morning, so I think that’s a win!
Kandi gave a few ideas and I’ll most definitely accept other suggestions. I’m excited to check out some decks!
And I’m so glad they loved the book/poem ✨✨✨
The two I’ve been using most often recently are the illuminated tarot and tarot for all ages - I just really like the art in both. Biddy tarot is also a nice first deck because it has a lot of the traditional imagery.
Ahhh how have I not seen that Pentatonix performance?! I may or may not have worn out my VHS tape watching Lauryn Hill performing in the final scene of Sister Act 2 ;) And thank you for the kid-friendly swaps for the Swedish Glogg—alcohol gives me a headache but I miss having a cozy holiday beverage to sip on.
Yessssss I loved that final act so much.